this is extremely important advice
He may love you. He probably does. He probably thinks about you all the time. But that isn’t what matters. What matters is what he’s doing about it, and what he’s doing about it is nothing. And if he’s doing nothing, you most certainly shouldn’t do anything. You need someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want you in their life.
A name. A person. A friend. A daughter. A sister. But then again we all tend to be some variation of those misleading titles. I find it increasingly harder to go on being any of these lately. Because not only do they beg for use of all of my emotion and effort, but they seem to use all of me with little in return. Being chosen last is a blessing when all I want is solitude. But other times it feels like I’m in a dream, screaming at the cracked glass where everyone I have ever loved looks on without remorse. If I could only be spectacular enough to capture their attention maybe I would feel whole. But I will forever be another face looking through the glass of a fleeting train. Intriguing for one second, out of mind the next. I don’t want pity. I don’t want comfort. I want this life to change it’s horrid ways. And I just wanted all this time to make a person behind my simple title, but it’s clear to me that the person behind it will need so much more to survive than she was meant to receive. It’s hard to be unwanted, isn’t it?I don’t mean to complain. I don’t mean to be selfish. Surely I’m horrible for crying when I am so blessed. But i guess when you find rock bottom, you discover it’s depth on your own. I just wanted this life to be so much more.